Mrs. Lonely

The feeling has come back. That awful, nagging feeling I get when I've been alone for too long. It's been over two years since i've been in a relationship, and it's taking it's toll.
I keep trying to figure out why no one seems to be interested in me, but I have yet to figure it out. I'm normally the type of person who feels pretty good about myself. I have my insecurities just like everyone else, but it's not like I hate who I am. This is just making it all the harder to figure out what is going on. Sometimes I'll sit and just think to myself "Is it my weight? no, everyone I know flipped when I told them I was going on weight watchers. Well, almost everyone, but I'm a size 6. That's not huge, is it?. . . Is it my hair? No. My hair is fabulous. Most of the time. . . Is it my skin? No. No it is not. There is not doubt in my mind it is NOT my skin. My skin is amazing. Seriously. One thing in life I'm sure of. . . the list goes on and on. And I can't figure it out.
And don't get me wrong, I do alright by myself. I just KNOW how good having someone feels, and I miss that. I miss being held, being kissed, having someone who I can talk to, to cry to. . . Maybe the fact that I have so few friends is effecting all this too. I have friends, atleast, a few. And I love them all, but I hardly ever get to see them. They are so into their schoolwork, they don't have time for little ol' me. Who isn't in school. Who goes to work with people 10 years older than her. Ok, there are a few people around my age. But still.
And of course, there is a boy. We shall call him boy because this IS the internet and you never know who is going to see this shit. I've known boy for a couple months, and I've slowly fallen head over heels for him. We're friends. Good friends, but he's made it pretty clear that he's not interested in me. It's like I'm one of his guy friends. I hate that. I act like I'm OK with him talking about the HOT GIRL he's going to the movies with, or went to that party with the other night, but I'm not. I'm green. Forest freakin' green. Yet, he's hinted on several occasions that he is not interested. That he's "not attracted to me, but I'm not ugly" how sweet, right? Ugh.
I need to get out more, meet new people, I know, but how am I supposed to do that? Where do 17 year olds go to find love? Ha. Nowhere. They go to school. Not that I had much luck there either, but that isn't a story you want to hear. I don't know, I have a tendency to choose all the wrong people. I've only been in 1 relationship that ended well, but it ended. And I don't know if there is ever going to be a chance with that one again.
That's all for now.
Love.